Believe me, Nigerians are really hilarious. Despite the adversity anticipated with the removal of fuel subsidy, Nigerians really made it all worthwhile to have a little laugh about it (or rather a really big laugh). From pictures, to conversations and photoshoped celebrities, the social media was the tool of hilarious and really entertaining epics generated from the subsidy removal saga.
One of such was an acronym of the president himself, check it out:
J. O. N. A. T. H. A. N: Just On National Assignemnet to Harm All Nigerians
It seems Madam Patience is finally heaving a sigh of relief as the comic bandwagon is finally shining away from her.
Trust a Nigerian to make a joke out of any situation, even if it’s his death bed. No wonder some while ago we were labelled ‘The Happiest Nation on Earth’ no matter the hardship we always find a way to make our neighbour smile. That’s the Nigerian spirit.
One of the recent conspiracy jokes going viral in the cyber sphere is:
ASUU STRIKE DECEMBER 4,
FUEL SUBSIDY REMOVAL JANUARY 1,
NLC STRIKE JANUARY 9.
NIGERIANS BEWARE OF THE DIGITS (419)
This is just but a few, and not forgetting the overwhelming comedy on the ‘I had no shoes issue’ let alone talking about ‘Fresh Air’ comical sessions, trust Nigerians to have their different spices and comical varieties.
Some of these I have no idea whether it’s English or what, because you’ve really got to crack your tongues and your ribs to get through them. This is credited to a former Hon. Member of the House of Reps (you all know him):
“I have read with acatalectic disgust, government’s asinine and puerile ratiocinations attempting to justiceate the proposed removal of subsidies from petroleum products. It has asseverated that its intention is guided by the need to checkmate the odoriferous excesses of a Machiavellian cabal. O and I have said to myself, what a shame? What hocus-pocus? What an anathematous disdain for its citizenry? Must the people now bear the brunt for government’s ineptitude, inefficiency and pusillanimity in squaring up with these economic philistines and fat cows? I feel even more nauseated and vexed that the Governors Forum has post-haste conferred an apocalyptic imprimatur on this genie. Lets not forget that majority of these same Governors had earlier called for this state of affairs as a condition sinequanon for paying the minimum wage. What opprobrium? What a depreciable descent from the sublime to the ridiculous? It’s up to us all to put this Presidential and Gubernatorial genie back into the bottle but are we prepared?”
(Yeah, I didn’t get a hint what he was saying)
And now before my generator fuel gets siphoned while am busy laughing my heads off, let me leave you with the call centre in case you need more.
“WELCOME TO SUBSIDY ONLINE ASSISTANCE SERVICE:
To know the price of fuel in your zone, PRESS 1
If you’re stuck in the village, PRESS 2
In case you need fuel but don’t have the money at present, PRESS 3
To get in touch with a black marketer in your area, PRESS 4
If you’re interested in marrying an oil worker especially a fuel attendant PRESS 0
To assist in protest of subsidy, PRESS 150
To end this call, visit this site again”
HAPPY READING, HAPPY STRIKE, MISS YOU ALL LIKE N65 PER LITRE.